Made on a Generous Plan Coaching

Meredith Noble is a food & body peace coach for plus-sized people. Part intuitive eating coach, part body image coach, and fully guided by the principles of Health At Every Size, she helps people who struggle with emotional eating, binge eating, and chronic dieting reestablish healthy relationships with their bodies and food.

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Fat Acceptance, Health at Every Size Philosophies

Fat? I understand why you want to lose weight, but…

Plus-size woman sitting on a bench imagining herself happy and thin

If you live in a fat body, I want you to know that I understand why you may want to lose weight. And more importantly, even though I don’t promote weight loss in my work, I want you to know that I honor your desire to lose weight. It is totally and completely normal.

The reason it’s normal to hope for weight loss is that living in a fat body in our society is hard. Those of us in larger bodies face oppression on a daily basis, and that oppression increases the larger we are. (For instance I, in what many call a “medium fat” body, face far fewer day-to-day challenges than my super-fat friends.)

It’s unfair for anyone to judge a fat individual who wants to lose weight. After all, losing weight seems like it will unlock positive outcomes like:

  • Being able to walk into nearly any store and buy reasonably-priced clothing
  • Being able to sit in chairs without fear of our legs bruising, or accidentally breaking them
  • Being able to fly without fear of getting kicked off the flight, not being able to fit in the restroom, or having rude neighbors
  • Feeling comfortable rather than self-conscious in public spaces
  • Earning more money and being treated more fairly in the job market
  • Being supported without bias by doctors and other medical practitioners
  • Getting more attention from our sexual partners of choice
  • Avoiding micro-aggressions from strangers about our bodies
  • Better health and less pain (the health part this is a myth but a common belief, and I discuss pain in #7 below)

When we theoretically have all of this waiting for us “on the other side” of weight loss, it is no wonder many of us spend our entire lives trying to get smaller.

Here’s the thing, though. Our society pretends that losing weight permanently is no big deal, when actually it’s nearly impossible. Medical practitioners who promote weight loss to cure our ills are simply not acknowledging that the vast majority of people who try to lose weight regain it within 2-5 years.1

We’re told that all we need to do is move more and eat less, when in reality our bodies work against us to regain the weight. (Read How weight loss attempts backfire for a lot more scientific explanation around this.)

Seriously, when you dig into the data, the average weight lost on programs like Weight Watchers is only about 3-5%2,3,4, and then most people regain that weight within 5 years (often going over their original weight). For those of us who are in large bodies, that is a tiny fraction of the weight we’d probably need to lose to blend into the smaller half of society.

The truth is, there is no proven way to lose weight in the long-term. The tiny number of people who do lose weight for long periods of time pretty much make maintaining their weight a full-time job, exercising multiple times a day and watching their food intake extremely carefully. Disordered eating and compulsive exercise are often part of the picture.

It’s also known that weight cycling (losing weight and regaining it, over and over) is not good for general health.5,6,7

When you take all of these factors into account, attempting weight loss just doesn’t really make sense. Holding out hope for long-term weight loss is, sadly, waiting for something that is probably never going to come—and results in making yourself miserable in the meantime. (I recommend reading Body acceptance begins with grieving the thin ideal for help coping with this realization. I know it’s a really tough one.)

Believe me, I wish this wasn’t the case

Let me be clear: it frigging sucks that losing weight isn’t possible when there is so much oppression endured while being in a larger body. Sizeism is rampant in our society and it is horrible.

Would I lose weight if I could? Sure I would—not because there is anything inherently wrong with being my size, but because of how inhospitable our culture is to people in fat bodies.

I consider the end-goal to be making society more accepting of size diversity and less oppressive to fat bodies. My dream is a world where no one needs to lose weight—because everyone’s treated equally regardless of the size of their body.

This is why I consider myself a fat activist in addition to a coach for fat people. I consider healing our society an important part of my mission, in addition to helping individuals heal their relationship to food and their body.

But all is not lost, I promise

I know it can be hard to think about the difficulties we face in larger bodies, but my purpose for writing this post is to help!

There is a lot we can do to live our best lives without wasting another minute trying to lose weight. This is what I focus on in my work with clients. And seriously, life in a fat body can be great, particularly when you make a few changes in how you think about the world and how you think about yourself.

Let me explain how…

Keys to living your best fat life!

Plus-size woman with her hands in the air, happy without losing weight1. Understand why losing weight isn’t necessary for health

Even if we could learn to accept our bodies as they are, health is important to many people. Once you understand how biased weight science is and why your size has minimal impact on your health, it can be a lot easier to give up on the desire to lose weight.

One day I will finally write a treatise explaining this in detail, but in the meantime, pick up the book Body Respect by Linda Bacon and Lucy Aphramor. Or coach with me and I’ll explain it in bite-size chunks!

2. Feel good about the size and shape of your body

When I coach people we don’t necessarily aim for living in a constant state of “body love”… it’s just not super-realistic. Your feelings about your body will be in constant flux, but I can help you move towards acceptance and positive feelings more often than not. I can also help you improve your ability to handle the down days.

You might like to read my article, The very first thing you should do to improve your body image, if you’d like to start working on body acceptance right away.

3. Heal your own internalized fatphobia and shame

When we believe what others think of us, their micro- and macro-aggressions hurt ever so much more. When we grow up in a fatphobic society, it’s only natural to start to internalize negative beliefs about fat people. The good news is that these beliefs can be unlearned. This article of mine gives a taste of how to start.

4. Tap into your innate resilience

Fat people are already super-resilient. Without this resilience we wouldn’t be surviving in this thin-obsessed culture.

Learning to trust and fortify your own resilience will help galvanize you against incidents of fatphobia out in the world.

5. Make peace with food

Life in a fat body is so much better if you’re not feeling guilty about half the food that’s crossing your lips. Learning to eat intuitively (i.e., take your cues from your body instead of trying to create rules for yourself) is a fabulous way to make peace.

6. Find forms of movement that feel great

Moving your body is so miserable when you’re doing it because you feel you “should”. It’s way more enjoyable—and sustainable—when you find forms of movement that are fun and make you happy (this concept is known as “joyful movement“).

Key to this approach is learning to consider movement types morally equal to each other. A walk is equal to a cross-fit workout, and both are equal to an impromptu dance party in your kitchen.

7. Musculoskeletal pain? Find movement specialists to help

There are tons of myths out there about fatness and how our bodies can’t handle bearing this much weight. The truth is that our bodies are built to withstand a lot. (This video from trainer Kevin Moore explains this wonderfully.)

Improving our strength, mobility, flexibility, and alignment (under supervised care of a physical therapist, certified personal trainer, or similar) can resolve common physical discomforts like joint pain and plantar fasciitis. I recommend looking into HAES-informed movement specialists (or, at minimum, practitioners who are weight neutral) for this kind of support.

Some HAES-informed trainers I recommend include:

  • Cinder Ernst (online and in Napa, CA)
  • Gillian Byers (online and in Newberg, OR)
  • Wren Withers (Portland, OR)

8. Find fashion that fits and helps you express your personality to the world

More and more plus-size clothing lines are starting up, and many of them do cater to the higher end of plus (say, 5x and above)! Finding clothing that is comfortable and helps you express yourself can be so healing and fulfilling.

9. Find supportive tools and strategies to help you feel more comfortable in your body

There are tons of solutions out there for the discomforts that can come from having more fat on your body. Chub rub solutions are plentiful, as are other hygiene, accessibility and mobility solutions. These too can help make this journey much easier. More of Me to Love has some great resources, for starters.

10. Find supportive, fat positive community

Finding people who unconditionally love and accept you no matter your size/shape is healing. Having recently found fat-positive community myself for the first time, I know there is simply no substitute. You too can find people like this, promise. As Made on a Generous Plan grows, I hope to be able to facilitate this as well!

Three plus-size friends arm in arm, smiling, after finding fat community

It’s ok not to be there yet

You don’t need to have given up on the desire to lose weight to start this work. Ambivalence is so valid and normal in this process, particularly for people in larger bodies.

I do, however, hope that I’ve also provided a vision for how life can be fabulous even without losing weight. These approaches won’t eradicate the sizeism that fat people endure every day, but they will make it more tolerable and make life a lot more enjoyable overall.

Sources

  1. Mann, Traci, et al. “Medicare’s search for effective obesity treatments: diets are not the answer.” American Psychologist 62.3 (2007): 220.
  2. Ahern, Amy L., et al. “Weight Watchers on prescription: an observational study of weight change among adults referred to Weight Watchers by the NHS.” BMC Public Health 11.1 (2011): 434.
  3. Dansinger, Michael L., et al. “Comparison of the Atkins, Ornish, Weight Watchers, and Zone diets for weight loss and heart disease risk reduction: a randomized trial.” Jama 293.1 (2005): 43-53.
  4. Tsai, Adam Gilden, and Thomas A. Wadden. “Systematic review: an evaluation of major commercial weight loss programs in the United States.” Annals of internal medicine 142.1 (2005): 56-66.
  5. Strohacker, K., and B. K. McFarlin. “Influence of obesity, physical inactivity, and weight cycling on chronic inflammation.” Frontiers in bioscience (Elite edition) 2 (2009): 98-104.
  6. Montani, Jean-Pierre, et al. “Weight cycling during growth and beyond as a risk factor for later cardiovascular diseases: the’repeated overshoot’theory.” International journal of obesity 30.S4 (2006): S58.
  7. Guagnano, M. T., et al. “Weight fluctuations could increase blood pressure in android obese women.” Clinical Science 96.6 (1999): 677-680.

Warmly,

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About Meredith

Fat liberation and intuitive eating coach Meredith NobleI'm Meredith Noble and I'm a fat liberation, Health At Every Size® and intuitive eating coach.

If you have struggled with chronic dieting and the challenges of being fat in a fatphobic world, I'm here to help you finally feel at home in your fat body.

More about Meredith and this site >

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My Instagram Feed

I took part in an event recently with a variety of I took part in an event recently with a variety of students in healthcare fields. They were all future doctors or other allied medial professionals. And I was so disheartened by the fact that extremely few of them had been disabused of the idea that fat people are fat because they either haven't thought to diet or haven't tried hard enough to diet.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Even the most basic advice we fat people are given by healthcare providers to help us lose weight, such as "eat less and move more", DOESN'T WORK. In reality our bodies undergo a series of metabolic changes that sabotage our ability to maintain any weight loss — this includes making food literally tastier to our tastebuds and reducing our energy level so we move less. (Look up the Minnesota Starvation study for more details, and note that 1500 calories was considered a "starvation diet" for the participants.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So reader, in case your medical provider has tried to advise you to lose weight, I just want you to know that you are able to care for your health and wellbeing without chasing a number on a scale. Dieting of any kind, and by that I mean manipulating food and movement in any way to purposefully lose weight, does not work in the long-term. But caring for yourself in a weight-neutral way does.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Yes, we can be fooled into thinking these weight loss tactics work — how many times have you heard someone say, "I lose X pounds in the last Y days?!" But research shows that at the one, two, three, five year marks — people have regained the weight, and usually have gained past their initial starting weight. I can't wait for more of the healthcare providers in the world to catch on to this.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Made on a Generous Plan ・ Fat liberation coaching ・ Online and in Portland, OR ・ Visit generousplan.com for more!
Please don't put so much pressure on yourselves to Please don't put so much pressure on yourselves to have an unconditionally positive relationship to fatness as a fat person. You don't have to aim to go through your life saying "everything about fatness is the cat's meow and I'm never going to let this get to me." Allow me to explain.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I would love for you to find ways to thrive in your fat body and feel kind, compassionate, and even loving towards it. I would love for you to find joyful ways to feel embodied, and for you to know that you have the same worthiness regardless of the size and shape of your body. I want SO badly for you to have those things and I've devoted my life to supporting people as they find new ways of relating to their fat bodies.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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BUT: I also want you to know that being fat positive doesn't mean you're never impacted by the shittiness of the world. Being fat positive doesn't mean fatphobia is supposed to run off you like water on a duck's back. Never get down on yourself for your grief about having to live in a fat body in a world that is inhospitable to it. Never get down on yourself for your sadness and anger about having to miss out on opportunities that are inaccessible due to your size. Never get down on yourself when you notice you're gaining weight and you feel afraid of what the consequences might be in terms of medical care, access to clothing, how your family/colleagues/friends might treat you, etc. etc. etc.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Being fat positive is about your relationship with YOURSELF and your relationship TO OTHER FAT PEOPLE. It's about accepting yourself and accepting others, and that's it. It has nothing to do with how you feel when other people treat you poorly for being fat, or how you feel when the built environment doesn't accommodate your fatness. Focus on your relationship to yourself and other fat people in your healing, and don't hold yourself back from feeling your oh-so-valid emotions about fat oppression whenever they arise.
Your health status and size have zero bearing on y Your health status and size have zero bearing on your worth or your lovability. They do not impact how much compassion you deserve, how much patience you deserve, or how much kindness you deserve. PERIOD.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you are fat and have health conditions, I see you. I AM you. Please be kind and gentle with yourself, and seek out others who will also be kind and gentle with you. Although they can be hard to find, HAES-informed medical providers do exist, and connecting with HAES community can help you figure out who in your community is safe to see as a fat person.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Made on a Generous Plan ・ Fat liberation coaching ・ Online and in Portland, OR ・ Visit generousplan.com for more!
The stigma around diabetes is strong, particularly The stigma around diabetes is strong, particularly type 2 diabetes, which is considered by many to be the result of "poor lifestyle choices."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here's the thing: you are not to blame for your health conditions, diabetes or otherwise. You think you're to blame for them because our neoliberal society (particularly in America) has taught us that we are responsible for our health. Making so many things our responsibility makes things easier for the state — it means the government doesn't have to work as hard to care for its citizens, and that we still stay productive and produce and consume capital as it wants us to do.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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(These are all ideas put forward by Michel Foucault, or built on Foucault's ideas. For more information, look up governmentality, responsibilization, neoliberalism, and healthism.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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By the way, most people ignore that type 2 is HIGHLY genetically influenced and is even more genetically influenced than type 1. Furthermore, fatphobia originally led scientists to assume that fatness caused type 2 diabetes, and now evidence is showing that metabolic changes lead to BOTH weight gain and the development of type 2. (Look up Peter Attia's TED talk for more. But stop there because he's now a diety biohacker, eww.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But what about lifestyle factors, you ask? First—and this is important—eating sugar and other simple carbohydrates does NOT cause diabetes.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Second, some sources claim that moving your body regularly can stave off the development of diabetes. I am not enough of an expert to know if this is true (particularly after fatphobia in research is accounted for), but hey, it's plausible given what we know about how movement impacts blood sugar. Here's what I know for sure though: even if movement could theoretically stave off type 2, people who don't move "enough" STILL aren't to blame for their type 2 diagnosis.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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CONTINUED IN FIRST COMMENT
You may have heard of the concept of setpoint. It You may have heard of the concept of setpoint. It is defined in Lucy Aphramor & Lindo Bacon's Body Respect book as "the weight range that your body likes best." Sandra Aamodt has also begun calling it one's "defended weight range", to account for the fact that it's not a single number, it's a range.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Setpoints are a real thing, no doubt about it. But I also kind of hate the concept, because when we're steeped in our own fatphobia, it can be hard to believe that our setpoint might be higher than our current weight. This is particularly true if we're fat. It's easy to convince ourselves that our body can't possibly want to be fat, and therefore our setpoint must be lower than our current weight.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sadly, some writers have also introduced the idea of aiming for the "lowest part" of your setpoint range. This concept is steeped in fatphobia and encourages us to move out of relationship with our bodies and aim at a number through effort. In other words, this concept tends to encourage us to engage in diety behaviors.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Hoping that our setpoint is lower than our current weight and trying to get to the lowest part of our natural setpoint range can get in the way of having a caring relationship with our body. It can prevent us from trusting our body's intuition around when, how much, and what to eat, and when, how much, and what kind of movement feels good.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you think this concept of 'setpoint' is throwing you for a loop, I urge you to ditch it. Your body is going to land where it's going to land, period. Focus on the path of rekindling that relationship with your body after years of denying it what it wanted while dieting. Whatever size your body lands at when you're caring for it in a non-diety, non-disordered way is where it's meant to be. And technically that is your setpoint but ironically, you might have better luck by not getting distracted by it.
✨ Third in my series of the very specific, life- ✨ Third in my series of the very specific, life-changing ways fat people are impacted by weight stigma. ✨⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Fat people are consistently denied fertility treatment on the basis that they cannot or should not conceive while fat. Fertility clinics have wildly different policies, but I've heard of cutoffs  starting as low as a BMI of 30. (Note: the BMI is bullshit and racist and I'm only mentioning it here because it's part of these medical criteria.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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These cutoffs are 1000% rooted in fatphobia. Fat people have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies ALL THE TIME. And since we know how harmful weight loss attempts through dieting and surgery can be, it is unethical to prescribe these as a precondition to treatment.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you are a fat person interested in matters of fertility, I highly recommend checking out the work of my friend Nicola at @fatpositivefertility.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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In sum, medical fatphobia harms fat people every minute of every day. Fat liberation is about seeking justice for fat people in every corner of their lives. This is what separates fat lib conversations from conversations about body positivity. Finding our self-worth is one piece of the puzzle. It helps us feel worthy of seeking justice and it improves our day-to-day lives as fat people. But it is only one piece, and this is why we fat activists fight so hard for these messages not to be drowned out.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Made on a Generous Plan ・ Fat liberation coaching ・ Online and in Portland, OR ・ Visit generousplan.com for more!
This is the second in my weight stigma series, whe This is the second in my weight stigma series, where I try to make weight stigma less abstract and more tangible for folks who are not affected by it. I can’t decide whether to continue this series as the first post didn’t get much traction — so please let me know your feedback if you feel so inclined.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Second up, because I saw this mentioned the other of day and the horror of it is fresh in my mind: some people are denied life-saving organ transplants because they are deemed too fat. Unless they can successfully advocate for themselves and/or have someone advocate on their behalf, they may be faced with trying to lose an immense amount of weight rapidly in order to qualify. NO ONE should have to deal with this. Losing large amounts of weight is not possible without starvation. It can be very, very hard on the body (not to mention temporary) and can lead to malnutrition and muscle wastage before a surgery takes place—meaning a person is WEAKER rather than stronger.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So yes, to get super, super specific, when we are fighting against weight stigma one of the things we are fighting for is humans being able to access life-saving surgeries regardless of their size. Let's not let our activism ever get abstract or watered down.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Made on a Generous Plan ・ Fat liberation coaching ・ Online and in Portland, OR ・ Visit generousplan.com for more!
✨ Fat people who follow my feed: much of this se ✨ Fat people who follow my feed: much of this series will not be news to you, particularly if you are large or superfat. But for everyone else's benefit, I wanted to get super, super specific about what the costs of weight stigma really are. I hope it's beneficial. ✨⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's a bit of a distancing term, really... "weight stigma". It feels abstract, general. But it has devastating consequences. REAL HARM. PEOPLE DIE.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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First up: fat people earn less than non-fat people. There have been numerous studies showing this; one, for instance, showed fat women aged 18-25 earned 12% less than their thinner colleagues (1).⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For a woman earning the median U.S. individual income of $33,706, that's a loss of over $4,000 a year.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Now, just to get a better sense of things, let's assume that woman earns the same amount every year over a 45 year working career (say, from age 20 to 65) and is impacted similarly by her fatness throughout her lifespan. In that case, she has lost over $180,000 simply by being fat.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This doesn't account for inflation and it makes a ton of assumptions for a back-of-the-napkin kind of estimation, but I think it still serves the purpose of providing a sense of just how significant these impacts could be in a person's life.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Weight stigma is REAL and its very significant impacts need to be acknowledged so that we can CHANGE it. Please let this inform your day-to-day actions in advocating for fat people.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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(1) Register, C. A., & Williams, D. R. (1990). Wage effects of obesity among young workers. Social Science Quarterly, 71(1), 130.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Made on a Generous Plan ・ Fat liberation coaching ・ Online and in Portland, OR ・ Visit generousplan.com for more!
For those not currently aware, it is Weight Stigma For those not currently aware, it is Weight Stigma Awareness Week. This week was founded by the amazing folks at the Binge Eating Disorder Association, and the week was taken over by the National Eating Disorder Association (of the US; @neda) when the two organizations merged a couple of years ago.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When the two organizations merged it was with an understanding that NEDA would work to reform the organization to be more social justice-minded and to support and advocate on behalf of all marginalized people (rather than just the thin, white women who had traditionally been the face of the eating disorder community).⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Unfortunately, despite some EXTREMELY dedicated fat people from BEDA working within the organization to create reform, the organization has evidently decided to lampoon its social justice mission, and along with it, the founder of BEDA, Chevese Turner. When powerful ED community members complained about new social justice efforts within the organization, NEDA buckled and ousted the person who was the loudest champion of them. Chevese’s compatriot Joslyn (the only other fat NEDA employee) resigned in protest on Tuesday.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The problem is that fat people, BIPOC people, queer people,  trans/non-binary/gnc people, low SES people, rural people, and neurodivergent people are all receiving substandard care in the ED community each and every day. Marginalized people with EDs need CONSISTENT, DEDICATED advocates to protect them and make change in this field, not fair-weather friends who relent when powerful people don't want to give up their power.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We as a HAES community are banding together to demand better from NEDA. We need accountability for all of their actions, and we damn well need (and DESERVE) a commitment from them to do BETTER in the future.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Made on a Generous Plan・Fat liberation coaching・Online and in Portland, OR・Visit generousplan.com for more!
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